The Chinese Chicken

So, I've been wanting to write for a bit, but we were in China where they block blogs, facebook, and other such things. Our last couple weeks in Hawaii were great. We found a great sushi place, we ran across the Haleakala volcanic crater a couple times, and got a bit tanner.

Well, we are both now pale, but had a great time in China with our friends, Brac and Ceci. I'll write some more about China in a bit, but have to relate one of the funnier conversations I've had in awhile.

We were headed to the Great Wall, so we booked a reservation with a local travel guide to drive us to the wall. The problem was the bus left at 4:30 a.m., and, well, it was on a bus. That likely meant other people, a schedule, and a megaphone (used by all guides in China). Last minute, we cancelled the bus tour after we found another driver to take us at a reasonable hour and on our own schedule.

After cancelling, the guide nevertheless called us for the next 3 days trying to reschedule us. After eating a huge meal one night, Heather, Ceci, Brac and I decided to go for a late night foot massage. Remember how I said we had a great time in China? Hour long foot massages cost $6 bucks and they are open til 1 a.m. I went ahead and got 7 while there.

Continuing along, it was about midnight, we are all getting our feet worked on, and the phone rings. Brac recognizes the number as the guide, yet again. He chooses not to answer it, it goes to voicemail, and then immediately starts to ring again.

"You gonna answer that?" I say.
"No, just let it go to voicemail. It's the guide for the Wall again,"Brac tells me.
"Ok," I say. Then, I go ahead and answer the phone anyway. "Hello?"

No hello, ho how you doing, no nothing. Now, forgive my broken english, it's not meant to be stereotypical. It's just broken english.

"You go to Wall tomorrow?" The guide cuts right to the chase.
"No." I respond.
"You want to got to Wall tommorrow?" The guide continues.
"No." I respond again. Now, I'm guessing people typically offer excuses, but I chose not to. I think this threw the guide off her game a bit.
"No?" She was now unsure of herself.
"No." I said flatly.
"No?" She was disbelieving.
"No." I said again.
Then there was a long pause, followed a very, very quick, "Yesorno?" She was tricky.
But, I wasn't falling for it. "No."
Again, there was a pause, then a long, gutteral, "HHHHMMmmmmmmmmmm."
Then we both hung up. I'm not sure that I accurately conveyed this, but it had all of us cracking up. Then again, maybe it was just real late.



Mmmmm. Squid.

Would you take a ride with this guy? Seriously?

And, I'm gonna have to tell you about this whole thing next time.